Life crashed.  And, here you are.  Standing in the wreckage of what you once called your life.  Most days you feel like it is your hell; but still, you stand.  You know that somehow you have to figure out a way to move forward, move on, move away bounce back.  But, at this point, your ego has taken a huge hit.  You are embarrassed about your loss and you feel like a failure.  The perfectionism, people pleasing, job, relationship, hobby that use to feed your ego is gone – probably forever.  Your ego is left so battered and bruised that you aren’t sure how to recover.  So how do you move forward?

You feed your soul instead.

Feeding the ego focuses outward.  It feeds off of a need to be right, complaining about what is wrong with everyone else, fighting to get your way, and enforcing your beliefs/will/wishes on others.  It isn’t about asking the right questions; it is about being the person with right answers.  Feeding the ego means being the person others look up to – the person people depend on and need.  The leader, the helper, the warrior.  The person you don’t want to mess with.

Feeding the soul forces us to look inside.  It is being effective rather than just busy.  Being wise without having to be right. Being strong without having to be in charge.  It knows that forgiveness is about the peace you deserve rather than the other person receiving what he or she deserves.   Feeding the soul focuses on keeping your power rather than throwing your power at everyone who makes you angry.  

In some ways feeding the soul may seem weaker or more delicate than feeding the ego; but, it is powerful.  Think of the person who merely speaks and everyone listens because they always have something monumental to say.  Their words do not need to have tremendous volume to have tremendous weight.  They don’t need others to think they are right because they are comfortable with their own inner knowing.  

Bouncing Back Better means learning to feed your soul rather than your ego.  Because, if something bad happened to you then you are probably tempted to make things right again.  So, you fight, struggle and try to force things to be right.  Feeding your soul is teaching yourself what to do when things aren’t right.   It involves letting go of the reality you hoped for and accepting the reality that is.  And, still managing to rebuild a life of peace.   Let go of your ego and save your soul.

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Sarah K Ramsey