There it is…your problem.  It lies there bold, insolent, impertinent and immense like a rock blocking your path – blocking your air.  It’s sheer massiveness chokes out the sunlight and as you move forward all..you…see..is…it.

Yet, time keeps moving forward and so you do to.  One step in front of another, –  stubbing your toe, scraping your knuckles, bloody and battered as you somehow find ways to keep walking.  But, sometimes you can’t move.  You just keep ramming your head against the same rock again and again.  

So, how do you manage to form a path around the rock?  Form a life around THE problem?  The one you can’t change no matter how hard you try.  The one that is just out of your control?  Do you just sit on the road and let the rock crush you?  Lie down, give up and whimper “You win.  I give up. I can’t fight anymore.” No! You don’t, because somehow, somewhere in the depths of your belly is a fight, a fire that says screams

I

Will

Keep

Going!

And, so you figure out a way to work around the rock – around the problem that is so proudly blocking you from moving forward.  Because, just as moving a boulder with your bare hands isn’t actionable, we all seem to have problems that we are forced to accept.  “He/she is never coming back.”  “There is no cure.”  “I will never get to move back to my hometown.”  “He/she is probably never going to change.”  The boulder problems in our lives are huge, crushing and painful.   These problems have cost us many years and even more tears.  You carry a little piece of the grief wherever you go, but you have also begun to realize that the problem is taking up too much space in your life and stealing joy from the moments that should be good.  You are realizing you need to make a decision and decide if you are going to spend the rest of your life staring at the front of the boulder problem or figuring out a way to work around the rock.

If you have been sitting and staring at the boulder problem for an extended period of time then it is likely you feel that there is no life beyond the rock.  No life beyond the problem; because like rocks, some problems are massive.  But, when you can’t change your problem you are forced to change your perspective.

“Yeah, yeah.  Change your perspective, change yourself.  I have heard all that before.” you are probably saying.  “My rock is really big.”  

I know.  I get it.  I have lived it.  The thing is there are some rocks that we can not move.  Rocks that are not fair.  Rocks that are not right.  Rocks that fell on us when they should have fallen on someone else.  But, every hour we spend kicking the rock, screaming at the rock, talking to our friends about how lame the rock is…we don’t move past the rock.

Friends…we need to move past the rock.

If you feel like you are stuck, move around the rock.  If you feel like you are not moving forward, move around the rock.  If you feel like you are dealing with the same worries and problems each and every day, move around the rock.  Take a fresh perspective and new look and stop ramming your head into the same problem!  The same rock.  Because, when you ask yourself “Is it working?”  you already know it isn’t.  You can spend years staring at the same rock, the same problem.  And, you can lose those same years dealing with a huge rock of a problem that isn’t going to move.  YOU have to move.  YOU have to figure out a way around.  YOU have to take action wherever you can take action.  Refuse to lose years of your life staring at a problem that isn’t going to move.  Your job is to figure out a way around the rock.  To build a life around the problem.  A life of love, laughter, and joy.  You just have to get a bit creative.

Sarah K Ramsey