Why do some people experience success no matter what life throws at them and other people remain stuck? As a child I thought grownups had a map of how to make great decisions. If I followed the map and followed the rules I would have the white fence, the 2.5 kids, a golden retriever named Lucy, and a husband who adored me. 

Instead I got two great kids, a messy divorce, and a bunny named Snuggles who pooped all over my house. Life did not turn out the way I wanted and apparently there is no secret map for grown ups that helps you know what to do next!

As a people pleaser and perfectionist I made decisions based on how to avoid making people upset and how to avoid uncertainty or rejection. This was a terrible strategy and did NOT get me the life of my dreams. In fact, my life was a nightmare. I put off decisions out of fear which wrecked my nervous system and after several months of losing hair and not being able to digest food I blacked out while driving a car in Charlotte, NC. I had to learn a system for decision making so moving forward didn’t seem so scary. I couldn’t keep living like this and no matter how scared I was I knew I was the common denominator in my own life. If it was to be, then it was up to me. 

My nervous system gave out on me because I confused emotional problems to solve with practical problems to solve. I fed fear, doubt, perfectionism, and people pleasing like they were my pet! I trusted doubt more than I trusted my therapist and I told myself I would make a decision later. I starved strategic action and slept with fear like a Teddy Bear.  I never felt more alone. 

Fear doesn’t bring your flowers. Fear doesn’t wake you up with coffee or keep you warm at night. Fear thrives in confusion and complexity. Women are doing a much better job with self-care these days, but bubble baths and the perfect nail color doesn’t give you clarity. Internal clarity is how you build your own life map. Clarity is how you push past fear and embrace the life and love that are waiting for you. Clarity is kind. Clarity is the 

If you’re stuck in fear, then the problem isn’t you. The problem is you haven’t been taught a framework for decision making. We didn’t learn a system for making decisions in school and most of us had parents that said “You are going to do it because I’m the parent and that’s why!” Even if you had great parents they still taught you how to make decisions without the internet. The information age has changed a few things! 

When you get clear about how to make a great decision, then the decision doesn’t feel so scary. You live with less fear and the confidence to build the life and relationships you want! 

Want to learn how to have more clarity and less fear? Check out Problem Solved: Simple Habits For Complex Decisions by Sarah K. Ramsey on Amazon starting on September 20th, 2022.